Corporate America has always been at least a little evil, but now I know just how much Monster Energy Drink sucks! (Note on that link: text is full of foul language, but the video is safe). Not only will the majority of energy drinks kill your body, destroy your brain, and rot your teeth, but apparently Monster will rot your soul as well.

Now, I’ve never been a huge fan of energy drinks. Really, they’re nothing but sugar, caffeine, and a load of other things that are just hideous to your health. For my money, I’d rather just have a strong cup of black coffee (preferably from a small, local roasting company- Starbucks is evil and disgusting as well), or an awesome frozen mocha. Most energy drinks taste like a monkey took a wee into a can, and I assume that Monster is no different, but taste and sugar content are not all that’s rotten with this company.

Apparently Monster has taken it upon themselves to become the overlords of the word “monster”. Remember when Paris Hilton tried to trademark “That’s Hot”? Yeah, this is just about as legal, but worse since there are actual victims involved.

Small biz owner of Rock Art Brewery is being sued by Monster Energy Drinks because of the name of one of R.A.B.’s (no, not Regulus Black) Vermonster beer. Because, gee, they couldn’t POSSIBLY have any other reason for calling their beer VerMONSTER than to try to take business away from Monster. Obviously. There’s no way the name comes from their Vermont based business and building on the idea that they’ve created a monster beer (10% alchohol, 1 lb of hops per barrel). Of course not. This is clearly a case of a small company trying to ride the coattails of a much larger company, right?

Puh-lease!

Companies have been doing this for years online. They find out that there are a lot of websites with their trademarked name in the domains, don’t actually check out the domains, and send out loads of cease and desist letters. For example, a domain like LappLeasing could be sued by Apple/Mac because the word “apple” appears in the domain. This does happen, though the suit is usually rescinded as soon as the domain owner fights back and someone with a brain realizes that there is no trademark infringement.

This case, however, sounds as though Monster wants to keep their options open for expanding beyond the energy drink market, which is probably starting to fail or will fail soon. If Monster should ever decide to get into beer or other alcoholic beverages, then Vermonster could become a real competitor. Actually, they couldn’t because Monster has a huge marketing machine and loads of profit to back them up, but the theory is there.

But tell me this, if this lawsuit were actually legal… if they actually had a leg to stand on beside money to pay lawyers… why haven’t they sued Ben & Jerry to pull the name of their Vermonster sundae? Hmmm?

If this ticks you off as much as it does me, let Monster know that you’re on to their little game (and send Matt, the owner of the small Vermont brewery a note of support). You can reach Monster via their website here, their FaceBook page here, or via Twitter as @MonsterEnergy, as well as call them at 1-800-426-7367 (supposedly they’ll send their official statement on the lawsuit if you call them). You can also vote on this issue by clicking here.  There is another poll on FaceBook here (hopefully the link works).

I’ve also built a squidoo lens where you can weigh in with your opinion on Monster Energy vs The World.

You can digg the first story linked above, or Stumble it.

Update: Just heard that Hansen is planning to move production to China. Please send a link if you can confirm this rumor.

2nd Update: While doing a little digging on the big G search engine, I found this little beauty- Apparently Hansen Beverage Co has threatened legal action on a beverage review site! On their post Monster Energy Drinks vs BevReview.com, they state that it’s not even Monster or Hansen that’s sending out the first round of notices, but a rather hyperactive watchdog company that threatens the pants off anyone who dares to show a picture of a Monster product, or their trademark (the claw marks forming an M).

Why do I refer to Continental Enterprises as a psycho, hyperactive watchdog company? Well, because they’re sending out blanket forms accusing webmasters of violating trademark laws, stating that the websites are “advertising or selling” their clients’ products or facsimile thereof.  In this particular case, their client provided free samples of their product to this review site in order to get a review. Then Monster’s watchdog company threatened legal action on the same website for posting a picture of the product. Not advertising the product. Not selling the product. Reviewing the product.

This tells me that Continental Enterprises doesn’t actually look at the websites they threaten, that they have no clue of “fair use” or, really, any part of the law that doesn’t suit their psychotic and aggressive needs. It also tells me that every company that uses them should fire Continental Enterprises and then sue them for costing them a buttload in PR!

Yes, Monster/Hansen is at fault for pursuing the lawless suits of innocent companies, but they’re also at fault for allowing their IP protection company to run amok.  [/end rant]

Update 3- According to an article on TechDirt, Continental Enterprises also sent out a cease and desist to an actor in a horror movie. Apparently he had the nerve to hold a can of monster while wearing his monster suit and have a photo taken.

HUGE UPDATE- Check Rock Art’s homepage- there’s a message saying “Victory!  America You Have Saved The Vermonster !!”. I assume more info will be forthcoming. Thanks for the tip off, Dirk!

More posts on this subject:

Vlogging bad boy Allyn Hanes now has a second post up called Monster Energy Drink And Hansen Have Forgotten America Monster Energy Drink Vs Rock Art Brewery and Vermonster Beer, Round #2. Whew! That’s a mouthful. (ooh, bad choice of words given Allyn’s penchant for cussing and name calling- all part of his charm). This is definitely not safe for work. Or children. Or most adults, even. But highly entertaining AND informative. Please check it out (when the kids are in bed, with the volume turned down. And preferably with a beer in hand).

AP’s article on the suit

Passive Income Online rants about US Lawyers scamming small business with this case as evidence.

Untwisted Vortex has unearthed information that Monster really is trying to take over the beer market in his post Monster Energy Drink: Corporate America Gone Bad

Hey What’s Up With That Stuff answers the question When is a Monster a bully? He’s also found out that Hansen (the company that owns Monster) is also suing the Vermont beer maker for their legal costs!

In Sync News has something to say about how Monster Energy Drinks attacks Vermont beer and similar suits.

The Big Kahuna of how to make money online has a different perspective and wants to drum up sympathy for the beverage giant in the Monster Energy Drink vs Vermonster Beer lawsuit (totally tongue in cheek).

I Need Money Now also has a few choice words to say about Monster Energy Drinks side effects. This is a lot more dangerous than a caffeine crash, folks!

Milking Noobs asks the question Hey Monster- Who’s the noob now?

Coffee Tea Blog offers these Alternatives to Coffee, Postum and Camel Piss (Monster Energy Drink)

Poor and Angry is… angry. See Poor and Angry- Monster Energy Drink Hates America

ThaiPhoon has one of the best (read: made me laugh out loud) posts that I’ve seen about how The Monster Energy Drink is one big vajayjay (er, he used a different term). Warning- some cussing involved.

Dwippy, who runs a blog on cats, gardening, politics, and life insists that Monster Energy Drink kills mom and pop shops. And I agree.

Bill Dowdis of Writings of Mass Destruction put up a post called Don’t Feed the Monster.  His post is succinct, well put, and completely rant free while still getting his point across.

A post at Joomla Templates echoes the pro-small-biz feeling in Monster Energy Drink vs Vermonster despite living in New Zealand instead of the USA where this suit is taking place. I got news for you Hansen- you’re not just screwing your business here, you’re screwing it worldwide!

You know a case like this is picking up traction when an online stock trading site joins in with a post about The Rock Art Brewery Vermonster barleywine real beer monster mash. He also uses this awesome line, “Rock Art Brewery are refusing to take it in the glass…”. Love it!

One of my old pals (he won’t remember me since the site he knew me from is now defunct) put up this post about his Underdog of the Day- Rock Art Brewery. Best of luck to you, Under dog! (There’s no need to fear…)

I’m a little uncertain about linking this post here. Some of my words have been ripped directly from my post and used over there. On the other hand, it’s a site for all things Made in the US(A) and I fully support that. In fact, I almost started the same blog, but decided it would be too much work, so I’m glad someone’s doing it! I also fully support anyone who’s supporting small biz, so up goes the link on how The Owners of Monster Energy Drink Are Not Socially Responsible.

One awesome guy has even started a brand new blog, just to support the small craft brewery- Save Vermonster Beer at blogspot.

A blog about How to Shop For Sporting Goods even has a post up about Hansen Beverage Co vs Rock Art Brewery, mentioning the energy drink’s popularity with sports enthusiasts.

There is also a forum thread calling for everyone to boycott Monster Energy Drinks. I’d be totally with them if I drank energy drinks at all. The best I can do is harass my caffeine/sugar addict coworkers.

EJ Cross who blogs about SEO and accessible web design asks us to boycott Monster Energy Drinks for screwing the little guy.

Bloggerlens posted on how Monster Energy Drink hates America by attacking small Vermont beer brewery. Dirk Polsen asks the question Does Monster Energy Drink Help Small Business and Have Family Values?

Untwisted Vortex hasn’t gotten all of the caffeine out of his system yet and wants to tell you Why the Hansen Beverage Company and their Camel Piss (Monster Energy Drink) needs to Fail.

While researching more info on Rock Art Brewery, I came across Monster Energy Drink Sues Small Vermont Brewery on an Examiner blog.

More to follow

Now, I think I’m really going to have to go into a rant on purple puppy dogs or something, because with all these links, the big G is going to think I’m keyword stuffing!

(P.S. If you’ve written a post on this subject and it’s not listed here, leave the URL in your comment. If I like it, you’ll get an anchored, Do Follow on this post- appropriate posts only!)